In early October, our neighborhood participated in National Night Out, which is, according to their website, “an annual community-building campaign that promotes police-community partnerships and neighborhood camaraderie to make our neighborhoods safer, more caring places to live.”[1] At the block party, complete with a taco bar (say less!), sidewalk chalk and bubble machine for the littles, and visits from the Mayor, the Fire and Police Chiefs, as well as other local leaders, the neighbors who rarely visit with one another met and mingled and shared the evening together. I learned that the family three doors down have taken in an aging mother and her daughter is now her primary caregiver; the daily walks with the dog are her breath of fresh air in this new and stressful situation. I also learned that a husband down the street has been in California since July for a radical medical procedure. His wife had invited me over for game nights a couple of times, but I always had prior plans and haven’t seen or spoken with her since May. We are fortunate to know some of our neighbors well, but with most of them we’re only on a “waving hello” basis. There are lonely and hurting hearts behind more of these doors than we realize.
The Preacher would agree with me that it is a sad state of affairs that I hardly know my neighbors and therefore cannot reach out with words of encouragement or acts of compassion when they’re in need. Chapter four of Ecclesiastes gives us several different scenarios that share one important theme: the perils of isolation and our need for companionship. Though God is not mentioned once in these 16 “under the sun” verses, the ultimate answer to every problem presented here is the gospel of Jesus Christ.
Again I saw all the oppressions that are done under the sun. And behold, the tears of the oppressed, and they had no one to comfort them! On the side of their oppressors there was power, and there was no one to comfort them. And I thought the dead who are already dead more fortunate than the living who are still alive. But better than both is he who has not yet been and has not seen the evil deeds that are done under the sun. —Ecclesiastes 4:1–3
This is a bleak, but honest picture of life here in this broken, hurting world. “As believers, we have to come to terms honestly with the world as it is, and the preacher is looking at the world as it really is.”[2] We see here the oppressed who are weeping in their isolation and are powerless under the boot of oppression. And we see the oppressors who take advantage of their power by callously walking over those who are vulnerable. The Preacher concludes that those who are already dead and no longer have to witness this evil are better off, and for those who are persecuted it would be better if they had never been born. Indeed, Job, Jeremiah, and even Jesus, referring to Judas, admitted that “those who are sorely oppressed, cruelly persecuted, and inhumanely tortured would be better off dead.”[3]
If we pay close attention to the oppression and evil paraded across our TVs and in our newsfeeds, we’d have to agree with the Preacher. Have you ever wondered if it would have been more fortunate for the victims if they had never been born? Have you ever suffered such pain that you wondered this for yourself? It is precisely in this hurtful place that the Lord Jesus Christ meets us with the good news of the Gospel. For, “Jesus is not only a friend to sinners, but also a friend to the oppressed. With holy indignation, he ousted the oppressors in the court of the Gentiles (Lk. 19:45–46). And with compassion, he lamented the lost but also healed the afflicted (Mt. 9:35–36).”[4] He proclaimed his merciful mission statement when he returned to his home synagogue in Nazareth and read from the scroll of Isaiah.
The Spirit of the Lord God is upon me,
because the Lord has anointed me
to bring good news to the poor;
he has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted,
to proclaim liberty to the captives,
and the opening of the prison to those who are bound;
to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favor,
and the day of vengeance of our God;
to comfort all who mourn —Isaiah 61:1–2
The oppressions of the lonely and powerless do not go unnoticed by our God, nor will they go unjudged. “Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, “Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord” (Rom. 12:19). We are certainly permitted to pursue earthly justice in this world, but there are some oppressions for which earthly justice will never be enough. So the Apostle brackets his advice with how we are to live and respond in the meantime: “If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all. . . To the contrary, if your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink” (Rom. 12:18, 20).
Only the Lord knows the plans he has for the oppressors, as Paul surely remembered, having been seized by God while on mission to persecute Christians in Damascus. The oppressor Saul of Tarsus was radically saved, and went on, now known as Paul the Apostle, to preach the gospel and establish churches across the known world, in the process writing much of the New Testament in the power of the Holy Spirit and for the glory of Christ.
On the other hand, the oppressor Pharaoh, king of Egypt, hardened his heart and rejected the word of the Lord as delivered through Moses. Therefore, Pharaoh lost everything—his entire enslaved workforce left for the promised land, his entire chariot army drowned in the Red Sea, his entire nation left in economic ruins by the plagues, and his own firstborn son dead on the night of the final plague. Pharaoh’s ruin was the Israelites’ salvation. And God was glorified in the wielding of his holy justice and the deliverance of his people, thus prefiguring the deliverance Jesus would provide for his people through the cross. Throughout the Bible we learn that the Lord uses suffering, including oppressions and persecutions, for the good of his people and for the glory of Christ (2 Cor, 1:3–5).
The Preacher next shows us two kinds of individuals who are so isolated and self-focused that they are no earthly good to their communities around them.
Then I saw that all toil and all skill in work come from a man’s envy of his neighbor. This also is vanity and a striving after wind.
The fool folds his hands and eats his own flesh. —Ecclesiastes 4:4–5
We have already learned from the Preacher that work is God’s gift to us and can be a blessing, but as with all of God’s good gifts, it can be twisted by sin. And so here we find that very issue: “Two equal and opposite errors. As toil can be all-consuming, so idleness can be self-cannibalizing.”[5] Lydia Brownback points out that while “envy if a futile reason for work, refusing to work is not the antidote.”[6] The first man works in opposition to his neighbors, seeking out of envy only to get ahead of them, the other man has nothing to share with his neighbors because his hands are empty at the end of the day.
The Preacher gives us the alternative to these errors in the very next verse: “Better is a handful of quietness than two hands full of toil and a striving after wind” (4:6). “Instead of two greedy hands cupped to gain everything one can, it is simply one hand extended. The hand is full but not of stuff; It is filled with quietness.”[7] But what does it mean to have a “hand full of quietness”? “It simply means rest—peace of mind and calmness of soul. It’s a word to capture the deep well-being of those who know their place in the world, content with the boundary lines of their life and able to enjoy the fruits of their labors with a cheerful heart. The way to arrive in that place of rest is to live for we, not me.”[8] “Sometimes less is more, and the quiet person has found the right balance… he is working hard enough to have a decent handful of what he needs in life. But that is enough for him… (he) accepts what God has given.”[9] I’m reminded of the title of a children’s book I used to read to my kids, called, Just Enough is Plenty.
The Preacher next introduces us to “the sad tale of a solitary individual,” which Phillip Ryken calls “a warning for us all against isolation, selfishness, greed, and a sinful addiction to work.”[10]
Again, I saw vanity under the sun: one person who has no other, either son or brother, yet there is no end to all his toil, and his eyes are never satisfied with riches, so that he never asks, “For whom am I toiling and depriving myself of pleasure?” This also is vanity and an unhappy business. —Ecclesiastes 4:7–8
The normal blessings of an ordinary life aren’t enough for this person. He is so focused on gaining more and more that he finds himself alone and unable even to enjoy the riches he has amassed for himself. This person is swimming in perilous waters and would do well to heed Puritan Thomas Watson’s warning that “Satan loves to fish in the troubled waters of a discontented heart.”[11] If he is only toiling for himself but not stopping to enjoy or share the fruits of his labors, he will soon find himself in Satan’s snare. The question asked in verse 8 is easily answered by those in the grip of the gospel. “’For whom am I toiling? Not for myself,’ the Christian says, ‘but for the glory of God and the good of other people, including the people I love in the family of God.’”[12]
In contrast to his solitary Scrooge, the Preacher now introduces us to the blessings of fellowship.
Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil. For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up! Again, if two lie together, they keep warm, but how can one keep warm alone? And though a man might prevail against one who is alone, two will withstand him—a threefold cord is not quickly broken. —Ecclesiastes 4:9–12
In this passage, which is often cited at weddings, the Preacher is speaking of all our relationships, not only the bond between a husband and wife. His point is that there is safety in numbers, togetherness is better than loneliness, and it is better to work in partnership with other people than to strike out on your own. “We, not me, is always going to be better for me than only me.”[13] Scripture is replete with exhortations to fellowship and togetherness not only in work but in worship and all of life. Paul lays out the importance of the many members of the church in his analogy of the body in 1 Corinthians 12:12–26. The author of Hebrews emphasizes our need for one another for encouragement in the faith and perseverance in holiness in chapter 10, verses 24–25. “If we were all alone, we might go down and stay down. But we are not alone. A brother or sister in Christ is there to lift us up with words of encouragement, to remind us of the love and mercy of God, and to help us rise again.” Douglas O’Donnell reminds us that “Fellowship is more than sharing a cup of coffee after the service; it is sharing life together—sharing sorrows, fears, and pains—so that together we might fight the good fight, finish the race, keep the faith, and long for the glory of Christ’s appearing.”[14] To this wise insight I’ll add Phillip Ryken’s searching question: “Does anyone know you well enough to guard your back through prayer?”
Finally, the Preacher introduces us to the wisdom of having a teachable spirit.
Better was a poor and wise youth than an old and foolish king who no longer knew how to take advice. For he went from prison to the throne, though in his own kingdom he had been born poor. I saw all the living who move about under the sun, along with that youth who was to stand in the king’s place. There was no end of all the people, all of whom he led. Yet those who come later will not rejoice in him. Surely this also is vanity and a striving after wind. —Ecclesiastes 4:13–16
The point of this story (which sounds remarkably similar both to Joseph’s and David’s stories), is that “Fame is fleeting—in the end, everyone turns out to be expendable.”[15] Whether poor, wise, and young or old and foolish, their lives will also end, the years will pass away, and whatever they did will be as a breath of wind in the gales of eternity. Yet the Preacher declares that one is better than the other, even so. “Of all the contrasts between the two kings, the most important is their attitude towards advice.”[16] How teachable are we? How willing to listen to and take advice? It’s not easy to do, but it marks the difference between wisdom and vain foolishness.
I’ll end with these wise words from Phillip Ryken:
“The best way to gain wisdom is by turning to Jesus Christ, the only King whose fame will last forever. . . John Calvin described his conversion to Christ, saying that ‘God subdued his mind and brought it to a teachable frame’. . . A Christian is simply a teachable follower of Christ.”[17]
[1] https://natw.org/about/ accessed 10/8/2026
[2] David Gibson, Living Life Backward; How Ecclesiastes Teaches us to Live in Light of the End, (Wheaton, IL: Crossway, 2017), 68
[3] Douglas Sean O’Donnell, Ecclesiastes: Reformed Expository Commentary, (Phillipsburg, NJ: P&R, 2014), 96
[4] O’Donnell, 97
[5] Phillip Ryken, Ecclesiastes: Why Everything Matters, (Wheaton, IL: Crossway, 2010), 111
[6] Lydia Brownback, Ecclesiastes: Finding Meaning When Life Feels Meaningless, Flourish Bible Study Series (Wheaton, IL: Crossway, 2024), 30
[7] O’Donnell, 98
[8] Gibson, 66
[9] Ryken, 111
[10] Ryken, 114
[11] Source unknown
[12] Ryken, 115
[13] Gibson, 76
[14] O’Donnell,103
[15] Ryken, 113
[16] Ryken, 113
[17] Ryken, 113
